Speaking about rape is the first step to healing and Busola Dakolo became a matter for bringing to light a very controversial and sensitive matter concerning a popular pastor of COZA.
Very little is known about the singer, Timi Dakolo’s wedded wife, Busola (nee Amupitan). From the pictures of her, the former Zenith Bank staff is as gorgeous as they come. The R&B singer and his wife are one happy couple with their 3 adorable children. They’ve been married since 2012 yet their union keeps waxing stronger and are seen everywhere together. But underneath it, all is a broken woman with a haunted past that needed to come to the light.
One of the most shocking and explosive stories on the internet is that of Timi Dakolo’s wife, Busola revealing how the senior pastor of Commonwealth Of Zion Assembly, Biodun Fatoyinbo r@p&d her many years ago. On the morning of June 28, 2018, in an exclusive interview seen on YNaija, she gave a detailed account of how she met him while she was in secondary school and started worshipping at his then club turned church after a lot of persuasions from her sisters. Though she was normally guarded around men, Fatoyinbo was charming, using his knowledge of her family and the absence of her father to gain her trust. Before long, he was visiting the house regularly, engaging her in ways her unavoidably distant sisters weren’t.
Then one morning, Fatoyinbo showed up at her house unannounced. It was a Monday morning early enough that Busola Dakolo was still in her nightgown. Her mother had traveled with her sisters and was absent at service the previous Sunday. He didn’t say a word, forcing her onto a chair, speaking only to command her to do as he said. It took her a while to come to terms with what was about to happen, and it was why she didn’t struggle or make a fuss when he pulled down her underwear and r@p&d her.
She recalled that he didn’t say anything after, left to his car, returned with a bottle of Krest and forced her to drink it, probably as some crude contraceptive, saying to her, “You should be happy that a man of God did this to you.” She was too terrified to tell her sisters or mother about his violence, stewing in silence for a week and afterward, he asked that she come to help her with his new baby, something she had never done before but was normal for church members to go to serve at the pastor’s house. Feeling she had no options, she went to his house, Fatoyinbo tried to isolate her later that night from his wife and their daughter by insisting she slept in the family’s guest room.
She managed to dodge his plans, appealing to the pastor’s wife to let her sleep in their master bedroom. He then told her the next morning while smacking her @$$, “No one ignores me.” It was an ominous enough statement that Busola became apprehensive and it was the first of many threats she would get from the flamboyant pastor.
Fatoyinbo had insisted on dropping her off at home that morning, even though she protested several times. Instead of dropping her off at the junction as he had promised, he detoured, driving her away from safety and towards a secluded spot. He threatened her the entire drive, making proclamations about how he owned her and how he was angry that he had thwarted her the night before. He opened the car, pulled her out of the passenger seat and r@p&d her a second time in the space of a week. First behind the car, then moving her to the bonnet for ease of access.
Busola Dakolo revealed in graphic details how Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo was ruthless and unremorseful during the period he r@p&d her. She went on to reveal how she finally opened up to her family about the r@p& incident and how her brother was held back from attacking him. The pastor and two of his church members eventually came to pacify her family, blaming the devil. They convinced her siblings to keep the rape and assault from her mother. She pretended to concede after two weeks of constant visitation from them and the unspoken implication that he was an alleged reformed cultist with a lot to lose if news of her r@p& went public.
What a massive wave of emotions! Social media went into a frenzy. Within an hour, the video was all over the internet and media houses had a field day, milking the story for all it was worth. One thing that came to the minds of people was the fact that this was the same pastor that was accused by Busola’s husband, Timi, a month earlier of sleeping with his female church members and the exact person that was called out by a young lady, Walter Ese in 2013 about their infamous affair. No wonder he had taken the matter personally, attacking the ‘man of God’ brutally.
Another thing that could be picked out from the shocking interview was that she was bold enough to come out to talk about the incident. Many people would argue that it happened many years ago but does that make it all right? NO! The most important thing is that she found the courage and willpower to open up on the trauma. Her story is really inspiring, especially to women who have been and might be involved in a similar case because they can now be emboldened to share theirs. It doesn’t stop there.
One of the frequent patterns used by a r@pist is the confidence pattern – he acquaints you through interaction/conversation and gains your confidence. Your guard is down. There are no danger signs. You feel relaxed, possibly doubting your own instincts, putting you off guard. The scariest part of acquaintance r@p& is it may be someone you trust and or love – a family member, doctor or pastor – why would he r@p& you? This is probably why so many women do not report it – they try to avoid the perpetrator or pretend that it never happened.
Busola never told anybody and for many years, she had to carry that burden as nobody would believe that a man of God (and his two co-accused) had done that despicable thing. The indifference to criminal behavior is an echo of what has been unearthed in the Church over the decades. The latest sickening revelations are of pastors getting away with r@ping female members. These new scandals provoke fresh nausea at the hypocrisy of religious blow-hards who do these terrible acts.
Keep in mind that a religious title is just on paper and him being a man of God does not give you immunity, so don’t automatically assume that a religious figure will behave morally simply because they have the title. Often, the cloak of religion hides the same insecurities that drive other perpetrators to commit violations. Learn to trust your instinct – if behavior towards you feels wrong, uncomfortable and unwelcome, it is. Even if the acts are committed by a religious leader or another figure of authority.
A big crisis in Africa is still that women continue to live with the perpetrator out of desperation and fear. There are countless, shocking daily incidents of where girls and women are raped by someone they are forced to live with, because they do not have anywhere else to go; because they do not have an income of their own or because they are minors that have a perpetrator in their family, i.e. father, cousin, brother or family friend living with the family.
Fortunately, this perception is changing as more and more women are gaining the courage to speak out against alleged incidents of sexual violation. Movements such as the #MeToo movement and Busola’s recent interview are a case-in-point. She is the voice for many women that have endured the same experience and tremendous support has been forthcoming from many celebrities and Nigerians as well.
She is being saluted for exposing herself on a very public platform with so much dignity and showing women that they have the courage and fortitude to face the attacker and take back their power. She has a face and a voice that many women can identify with.
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However, there is hope. Busola Dakolo has given that glimmer of sunshine to women in Nigeria and the world all around that it doesn’t matter who the predator is. You can do something about it. You have the power ladies!